The Ultimate Guide, Chs. 5-6

Continuing to read Glickman and Emirzian's Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure. This update is about chapters 5 and 6.
Chapter 5 is titled "Penetration 101", and it is mostly written for people who have no (or little) prior experience with being penetrated anally and it draws, in important ways, upon the anatomical information given in Chapter 3. The main thing one must always remember is that the internal anal sphincter is not a muscle over which one has direct, conscious control. You can't make it relax the way you can the external sphincter. The only way to get it to relax, really, is to be relaxed, comfortable, and into what you are doing. If you're tight, nervous, or whatever, then it won't relax, and penetration cannot be anything other than painful.
Maybe the most important reminder for me here was of how pleasurable massaging the anus externally can be. It's a nice way to help the anus relax, as Glickman and Emirzian emphasize, but I tend to rush past that phase nowadays, since I have rarely have any problem getting reasonably sized toys into myself. But, as Glickman and Emirzian also remind us, sex doesn't need to have a goal, other than pleasure (mutual pleasure, if you're not doing it by yourself). If it feels good, as it absolutely does, to have your anus massaged, then have it massaged, or massage it yourself.
Chapter 6, "Searching for `the Magic Button'", is ironically titled. Too many times on forums I've seen guys complaining that they're stuck things in their asses, and they're sure they stimulating the prostate, and nothing is happening. And it's like they think there's some Magic Button, and if it didn't work for them the first time or the second or the third, then maybe they just don't have one. But as Glickman and Emirzian make clear, there isn't any Magic Button. You have to learn, and allow you body to learn, how to respond to this new form of stimulation. It takes practice, and it takes patience, and it takes learning how to let pleasure come to you rather than to reach out and try to grab it.
Indeed, I'd put it a bit more strongly than they do (and have done so elsewhere). For most men, their sexuality is not just centered on but is almost wholly wrapped up with their cocks. The kind of stimulation you get from prostate play is completely different. In that sense, I disagree (though not vehemently) with Glickman and Emirzian's advice about whether to include cock play with prostate play (pp. 103-6). I understand why they suggest it: It helps connect this new sensation with something that's already marked as pleasurable. And yes, maybe at the beginning, that could help. But I myself think that, if someone really wants to experience all that prostate stimulation has to offer, then they have to learn a different way of having sex, one that simply doesn't involve their cock. That seems to me an important lesson to learn, anyway. It's not that Glickman and Emirzian don't make this sort of point. Glickman in particular is well aware of the gender issues that surround ass play of any kind for a lot of men.
I'd also have emphasized more than they do (p. 104) that, if someone loses their erection during prostate play, that is absolutely nothing to worry about. Having an erection is not the same as being sexually aroused, and if your cock doesn't need to be hard for whatever it is you're doing, then it's no issue whatsoever if it isn't. Case in point:  I was doing some prostate play the other day, and I had somewhere between 12 and 15 orgasms (sorry, I lost count), and my cock wasn't hard at all for any of them.
That probably sounds more critical than it's meant to be. But I've focused on a handful of pages and one particular topic. Most of what's I'd heartily applaud, and the advice is sensible and safe, as well as nicely sensitive to the emotional issues that surround prostate sex. Indeed, this last point is probably my favorite thing about the book so far. This is not just a manual of mechanical instructions. Glickman and Emirzian make frequent reference to the complex feelings that engaging in prostate sex can generate. It's why the world will be a better place when more men take it up the ass.